If you have gained and lost weight over and over again over the past 20 to 50 years… that is a lot of practice and wiring of neural pathways.  We do continue to grow at every age and develop new neurons through neurogenesis.  Through diet, exercise, sleep you can not only lose weight, you can keep your brain healthy as well as bones and joints and immune system.  When you feel better you will enjoy life more.

Even though we have the knowledge of what will make us feel better in the long run, it is easy to fall off track. The trick is to build a clear track and when you get off it, don’t make it mean anything about you. Give up the drama. See that track as your guidelines and get back on it.

When I was growing up in Brooklyn, NY the B71 trolley bus line maneuvered a turn onto Sackett from Smith Street.  Often the two trolley poles and ropes which connected the bus to its’ power source above would disengage on the turn and the bus driver would have to get out and put the poles back on the track.  It seemed like a genuine pain in the butt, yet it was part of the driver’s day.  He didn’t make it mean he did anything wrong or curse the wires, he just got out of the bus and fixed put it back on track and got on his way. (In those days all the drivers were men!)

You may hate yourself and make poor choices out of the unconscious conviction that you are not enough and not loveable.  You may be unaware of the extent to which you limit yourself from the negative self-talk to partake of in your head; or you are perfectly clear about the limits you place on yourself yet don’t know what to do to change it.

Habits of treating ourselves with contempt over decades feel normal. Like fish in water and birds in the air.  We are unaware of the toxicity of our thinking.

Today I am doing fantastic.  I am thinking of how magical life is. Our brains are amazing. Our bodies sublime.

This magical thinking is colored by the fact that many people are suffering around the state, country and world.  It is colored by the fact that earlier today, I felt anxious –crappy - sad. My practice of feeling my emotions invites me to look to my body and ask what is it exactly I am feeling and where. It feels like a vague sensation that takes root in the center of my chest and upper stomach. It is a moving, undulating sensation.  My eyes feel pressure and teary.  

I can’t do anything about the fires today; or stopping the disasters facing my brothers and sisters around the world. My feeling - is it sadness? Maybe. It comes and goes and the next step I take is to ask myself, “How can I love myself with this feeling?”  “How can I feel this shitty and still know I am a vital human being.” Then I ask myself, “What can I do today to contribute to my purpose, even with this feeling in my body?”  All this sits side by side, steeping like a cup of tea. 

Coming up with successful strategies to create and stick to a weight loss eating plan or even maintaining a healthy eating pattern is the Holy Grail for many women who struggled with weight all of their lives.  I know I did and now I struggle with everything else that life offers. I don’t confuse eating for fuel and energy and vitality with examining my life and feeling my emotions. Dealing with both the amazing gifts and challenges of aging.

If you are like me, you may still be seeking one answer to change you. One magic pill to make changing easy. Ladies, by now you may realize that the answer is in your brain. No magic pill. The magic is that you can use an innovative approach to take action. 

Learning new skills is what it takes to do something in a new way.  Learning is something you can do. You have done it your whole life.

Successful weight loss and healthy lifestyle comes to those who keep it simple!

I didn’t always have healthy eating or living habits. I loved me some cherry pie and the faster the food came out of the box or package and into the microwave, the more satisfied I would be.  I didn’t have much interest or skill in cooking elaborate meals. The problem was I was craving more and more junk food and putting on the pounds. I was watching my mom continue to gain weight and develop full blown Type 2 Diabetes.

I aspired to be (but never made the cut) that thin, clear skinned, yoga pant wearing perfect mom on social media and TV.

I was the perfect demographic for fast food manufactures who created products that satisfied my need for fast, cheap and tasty food I could grab, heat and eat. 

The problem is that fast food was ruining my health.  Fast food could be ruining your health. Fast and highly processed foods could be what is keeping the weight on and messing with your hormones and hunger signals. Those foods create inflammation and invite chronic diseases which you will face in your elder years.

You may think that the habits of your lifetime are impossible to change.  I have good news for you – your brain is able to change. Many studies have proven this over and over.

 “Mindfulness is like a microscope; it is neither an offensive nor a defensive weapon in relation to the germ we observe through it.  The function of the microscope is just to clearly present what is there.”   Whereas…”Awareness is seeing the discovery of mindfulness.” Chogyam Trungpa’s, The Myth of Freedom on Mindfulness and Awareness, page 49 provides a deeper understanding of the relationship between Mindfulness and Awareness.

I use my ability to become the watcher to observe my emotions, becoming mindful of how my heart beats faster when I am anxious, what actions I want to take as a result.  The awareness of what I observe helps me make choices. Interrupt the actions driven by that feeling or be carried along with the stream unconsciously.

Dr. Angela Duckworth, author of GRIT: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, has spent her career looking into what it takes for children and adults to succeed.  She has investigated our mythology around talent or giftedness and effort. She is passionate about working with young students and teaching them to apply her strategies towards developing grit. Her work targets students who are considered talented and those who are considered not so talented.

She defines Grit as: Passion and perseverance for long-term goals

We are not young students, but her discoveries apply to us just the same.  You can be a student at any age. You have perseverance and can drum up some passion at any age.

The other day I had a thought appear like a cartoon bubble over my head - Who put me in charge of my life?  I realized in an eye-popping moment, that I was really in charge of my life.  Not my mother, not my boss, not my daughter, not my husband.  ME.

Looked at objectively, we are the leaders of our lives.  Maybe you have compartmentalized your various roles; I am mother, sister, team player, native of NY, citizen of the earth. But if you look at the whole of it, we are the designers and leaders and decision makers over the course of our lifetime.  

The most important step a leader can take is to actually say YES to the job.  Yes, I accept responsibility.  I don’t need permission. I don’t need to fool or manipulate myself or you into accepting me.  I accept this responsibility.

Summer’s here and many women have decided to start on a new healthy eating plan! Monday comes, you start the day strong. Lunch is a breeze and you are feeling proud. You look at your friend’s French fries and you say, not interested.  And you mean it! Mind blown.

You get all the way through dinner, eating your planned healthy food. Then, dinner’s over, the dishes are cleaned up.

You start to feel antsy and you find yourself reaching for more food; even while you are telling yourself you don’t want to overeat tonight. Even though you are not physically hungry.

What is an essential change I have made in my life that supports me to live at my natural weight after years of feeling stuck and unhappy about my body and my food?

A key change I made is that now I ask myself powerful, empowering questions every day.  This strategy keeps my brain seeking fresh inspiration and delight and frees me from a sentence of being condemned to failure by repeating the same mistakes over and over.

In a More Beautiful Question, author Warren Berger, says that a beautiful question is “an ambitious yet actionable question that can begin to shift the way we perceive or think about something – and that might serve as a catalyst to bring about change.”  A good question is like “a lever used to pry open the stuck lid on a paint can.”

“The brain is an unbelievable powerful tool of intelligence, but the problem with our brains is they deceive us into thinking that we are rational, logical and consistent and that we remember things correctly. Nothing could be further from the truth. I still don’t see all my biases. … we are really are a very flawed form of intelligence – as awesome as we are. We need to start figuring out how to improve humans at the rate we are improving our digital tools so we can evolve together.”  Bryan Johnson, founder and CEO neurotech company Kernel. (Kernel develops brain interfaces that record the activity of neurons through a tiny grids of electrodes.)

I haven’t put in a garden for a couple of years as I have been focusing my time on growing into the best coach I can be.  This year I am ready to get back to gardening and grow my own vegetables.

Imagine an abundant summer where you are eating well, exercising and enjoying the warmth of the sun and your friendships?

If we can imagine and nurture it, we can plan it and make it happen.

Preparing for an abundant summer garden is a wonderful analogy for reaching your goals. Maybe you want to lose 25 lbs. Maybe you are traveling to exotic lands or visiting national parks in the US.  Maybe you want a staycation to sleep in, read and enjoy cooking meals at home. Maybe you are writing a book or building a new business.

Way back in 1979, award winning Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer, conducted a seminal research study that revealed measurable changes in the physiology of an elder population who put themselves in a living situation that reflected 1959, 20 years earlier.  The key to the study was to have the participants think of themselves as they were 20 years earlier.  They were instructed to immerse themselves into the past and to return as completely as possible in their minds to those earlier times.  It living quarters were set up as if it was 1959. 

After 2 weeks of living this way, there was a change in behavior and attitude in the groups. Their hearing and their memory improved as if they were younger and even their intelligence scores increased. These indicators were based on measurements that were taken before and after the study. 

At the end of the study, Ms. Langer concluded that it is not primarily our physical selves that limit us but rather our mindset about our physical limits.

144.2, 143, 142, 144.8, 146.6, 145, 143.6, 145.3

This is not Morse Code but a list of the natural fluctuations of my weight over the past month.

If you are post-menopausal, your body’s ability to lose fat may have slowed down.  If you are over 60 and have developed thyroid issues (it is estimated that one woman in eight will develop a thyroid disorder during her lifetime.), it may be slower still.  If your weight fluctuates, do you freak out?

You decided to eat healthy. You have given up those “prized” foods (pizza, cupcakes, ice cream), and you are losing about 1# a week. Some weeks it is .5 pounds a week. Your mind then looks to a time when you did successfully lose weight way back when, and dropped 13 pounds in one month.  That’s how I lost weight in my 40s.

You might think, “Only 1 pound a week after all this hard work!” That might cause you to throw in the towel. Give it up.

If progress is slow, and if you are moving in the right direction, what is the problem?  If you are holding on to beliefs that you should be losing weight faster, (thoughts created by looking to your past) let us examine whether hanging on to those beliefs is in your best interest.

Are you ready for the future?  Women over the age of 60 are estimated to spend from $5Trillion to $15Trillion dollars every year. That is you. 

We are imagining a different kind of retirement.  An active, healthy and engaged life. 

Mary Oliver asks us, “What will you do with your one wild and precious life?”

The future is calling.  Will you be there with a clear mind and a strong body? Or will you be spending inordinate amounts of time thinking about food, worrying about your weight, deciding what to eat, criticizing your efforts and your body?

Did you know that quitting could be the habit that is slamming your weight loss goals?

I continually work on NOT QUITTING. 

I used to be an expert quitter.

I had a small business in the 80s and I quit.

I was in theater and film and I quit.  I still like my reasons for quitting (having a family), but the fact is that I quit.

I would try healthy eating plans to lose weight and quit each one. I quit being vegan; I quit being vegetarian; I quit doing Atkins.

I would think a lot about exercise. Especially when I was watching TV.  I remember “the Bean.” The Bean was going to get me to exercise without fear of hurting my back and give me a six pack.  I made a promise to myself as I was dialing the number on my TV screen, “You are definitely going to exercise this time.” Yet the 1st time I blew up that bean (you have to fill it with air), boom -- I hurt my back. I quit. 

Have you ever thought about the fact that your body has been your mode of transportation for 50, 60 or 70+ years?  If you are someone who struggles with extra weight, you may only see your body for how much it weighs and how it is disappointing you.

You may only think of weight loss and miss out on the rest of your life.

Your body has birthed, raised, and sometimes buried children. Your body has loved and hated partners; played with and irritated siblings, parents and friends.

Your body has encompassed the whole range of your emotions between loss and laughter.

Your body has continued to change as you have grown.

Your body has brought you to school, where you developed your brain; stayed at home where you cleaned and did the laundry. 

Your body ran successful companies, wrote books and created films and courses.

Your body has unfinished projects all around the house. 

March Madness – Spring cleaning.  If you started 2018 with a desire to lose weight, exercise more, get better sleep, how is that going?

A path to success is paved by setting goals and creating daily habits.

Designing your own process ensures success.   

We have many habits – morning habits, wake up, let the dog out, make the tea, gather journal, go outside and breathe deeply, take out breakfast from frige, write, meditate, shower, work, lunch, work, dinner, watch tv.

The way you think about your ability to lose weight or stick to a plan is also a habit and is a key element in your success or failure.

How many times have you thought something like this – “I ate because my sister had a diagnosis and I was so freaked out. I ate because my grandchild had the flu and was up all night.  My job is so stressful, I will never get out from under all the work.  I went out after that stressful meeting and ate what I wanted to relieve the stress.” These are what I call stress thoughts.

Isn’t it interesting that when we are stressed, we are drawn to foods that send dopamine to our brain; not so much to food that nourishes us. 

We accomplish great tasks, get ourselves educated, raise and support children in a challenging world, teach, heal, caretake, build, invent, litigate, chair, direct, innovate, open businesses, climb mountains, show up in our lives every day and our opinion of our abilities to do hard shit is – I can’t. I don’t know how.

While I think this is a crazy place and we live here in our heads, I don’t have to look far to see that I am charged with the same offense.  Sometimes no matter how much I accomplish in a day, I think I didn’t do enough.  I could have done more. 

Notice your thoughts about your ability to handle life.

If you think you aren’t capable of losing weight; that it is impossible to bear a feeling of shame or loneliness; that you are not designed to learn a new skill, think again.