Day 12 - FB Live - Graciously Declining Unwanted Food
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What to say when everyone seems to want you to EAT.
Day 12. How to stay on your diet even if you are going out to a restaurant or to a holiday dinner at a friends. Tips to stick to that plan so you can get to your goal weight over the holidays.
For fourteen days you are getting strategies and tips to get you to your goal weight and keep you there.
Holidays, with all the gifts, food and parties do not have to throw you off your resolve.
You show up at your sister’s home for Thanksgiving and she has created an amazing masterpiece of design and sugar for dessert. Everyone is ooooing and ahhhhing! It is an amazing thing! You can see its beauty, but you have decided not to eat it tonight. What do you say?
By the time I hit 60, I learned that people get to eat exactly what they want to eat and say exactly what they want to say! So how do we maneuver gracefully when it seems that temptations to break our resolve to get to a goal weight are everywhere?
Sadly for us, the Standard American Diet (SAD) has produced lots of allergies. This makes it easy to communicate to waiters, friends and hostess our dietary concerns.
When we accept an invitation to dinner, we are expected to sit down and share. In order to stick to my plan, I like to call ahead and find out what’s on the menu. This is a chance to let the host know that I have food restrictions. If it seems like my choices will be sparse, I will offer to bring something to share with everyone. All I need is some vegetables or a salad and some cheese and I’m set. I can report that I have never been hung up on yet!
Many restaurants offer alternatives to gluten, meat and sugar-laden recipes.
During the holidays, with lots of family events, we may find emotions heightened. When someone uses food to show they care, you may be reluctant to say no, even it will set you back on your goal. It’s important to remember that people sincerely care about you and want you to share in the pleasure they experience with food and tastes.
Yet, the most important person to pay attention to is yourself.
You are responsible for your health and your self-care. It isn’t another person’s job to take care of you. It’s important to think through your commitment to your own goal prior to attending any event – whether it’s a number on the scale or your general wellbeing.
When you are committed, determined and filled with self-love, it is easier to come up with a confident answer to any problem.
So, if you are offered a piece of Boston cream pie and you don’t eat flour or sugar, or a rare roast beef and you just went vegan, what can you say?
The first approach would be simply, “No thanks”, and change the subject.
Ah, if it only were that simple. Sometimes a good friend spent the day preparing what used to be your favorite go to dessert, Aunt Bessie’s German Chocolate Cake.
You could respond – “You are the best. Thank you soo much for creating this masterpiece. It just doesn’t agree with me and I want to enjoy my time with you!”
Quite often people yo-yo diet and when a holiday hits, they throw in the towel, thinking, “It’s a special holiday. I can let lose for one day, can’t you?”
A good response might be, “Yes, I really let loose today and went on a hike, it was fantastic! I’m just going to pass on that for now. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.”
I spoke to a friend of mine who makes fudge every year for all of her co-workers and delivers them before anyone gets to work. She said she is quite used to having people let her know that they don’t eat sugar or like fudge. Generally, people let her know how much they appreciate her for the time she spent and the thoughtfulness she showed. She had another friend who asked to be removed from her fudge gift list, and then called back to say her husband was looking forward to that fudge and wanted back on the list!
Yes, there are times when people are persistent and closed minded.
Here are some suggestions for what you might hear and how to respond.
When you hear offers and pleas, such as:
Why can't you eat like a normal person!!
Come on, a little piece of cake won't hurt you.
You and that rabbit food. You only live once. Stop being such a healthnut.
Loosen up! A few bites won’t hurt!
Everyone loves this!
This homemade Boston cream pie is my grandmother’s recipe. You'll love it!
But it's your favorite! I made it just for you.
You on a diet again!
I can never have the discipline you have.
You can respond with – humor, white lies and lots of respect and regard, like these:
You know me, I’m abnormal! But I feel so much better when I don’t have it!
I had some already—so delicious!
You are an amazing cook. So thoughtful. I’m just too full right now.
I'm full right now, but I'd love to take it home and have it later [white lie]
No thanks. I'm afraid I have to follow doctors' orders. But let's talk about something else. How is your mother?
Thanks, but I’m not hungry. I already ate.
Thank you, but [dairy, pizza, lots of sugar, etc.] doesn’t really agree with my stomach, so I’m going to pass.
That’s funny. I wouldn't say obsessed, but I am conscious of what I eat.
Well, it’s been a learning curve. I can teach you some really amazing recipes that are so good, I bet you wouldn't even know they're healthy! I just feel so much better since I have been eating healthier.
I have food allergies, but since I have stopped eating it, I feel great, thanks.
I have had enough dessert for a lifetime! I just can't eat it anymore.
My doctor says I'll probably live to celebrate more holidays if I stick with my diet plan!
Remember, your friends are not there when you wake up in the morning feeling disappointed and bloated and craving sugar. You are in charge and isn’t that the good news?
Share your experiences with speaking up for yourself when you don’t want to eat something and let us know what you said and how it went!