Self-confidence is defined as confidence in one’s own powers and judgment, assurance, self-possession, self-respect, and poise. The root meaning is “with trust.”
Self-confidence helps you achieve your goals. When it come to a weight loss goal, self-confidence is a key ingredient; however, you don’t need it to start.
To start you just have to be willing to try something new and take action.
The thing I find the most surprising about self-confidence is that it is a skill that comes after I do something I have never done before, and then do it again and again.
It is like courage; you only need it when you are friggin scared! When you decide you want to lose 50 lbs and your brain says, “I will only disappoint people, like I have in the past.” Or, “I can’t handle attention from the opposite sex!” Courage is useful when you don't want to run away and stay stuck.
If we realize that confidence is a feeling, it makes sense that the way we think about ourselves – our judgment, our powers -- will lead us to do something or not do something.
From my experience, not taking action does not lead to confidence. Taking action, even if you are inexperienced or unskilled, gives you the capacity for self-confidence. Never giving up is you earning your own trust. Self-confidence is a byproduct.
Women are woefully low on the self-confidence scale; we Baby Boomers have been trying to teach it to our daughters forever. But it’s not something you can give lip service to. It’s not effective to tell someone they should be confident; their brains go seeking evidence and if it’s not there yet, they can’t believe it. You have to live it and experience it in your bones for people to see it and believe it.
“When confidence emanates from our core, we are at our most powerful.” say authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman in The Confidence Code. Kay and Shipman are as excited about the new brain science as I am. They believe that knowing that we can rewire our brains at any age, offers a profound promise for cracking the confidence code in women. In their definition, confidence is fuel for action. Doing, working, deciding, and mastering. This is confidence.
We aren’t necessarily born confident yet we are born with the tools to learn confidence, or to acquire the skill of confidence.
What I do know about any feeling is that our thoughts create our feelings; our feelings motivate us to action; our actions add up to a result.
If being self-possessed is self-confidence defined, then the road to getting that confidence is not necessarily straight and narrow. Isn’t that the reason why we struggle for it? We don’t want to be embarrassed.
I say “Bah humbug” to that. Feel embarrassed. Get familiar with the taste of feeling foolish; it doesn’t mean anything about you really. Its like a hot flash! It comes and it passes.
If you don’t feel like you are already self-possessed, the only one who can change that is you. The only way to earn it is through taking risks. Taking action.
No boss giving you praise; no mother giving you permission; no husband giving you validation will instill confidence inside you. Those things are great (don’t get me wrong) but self-confidence comes from raising your hand in a meeting and speaking up and noticing you didn’t die! And aren’t we old enough to know better? It comes from getting a trainer or coach and showing up open to learning something new at our age.
Then you follow, you learn, you fall, you get up; you get better and you grow your confidence. It is a tonic for feeling the vitality of youth.
I didn’t feel self-confident. For years, I never succeeded with staying at a healthy weight, or sticking to an exercise plan. I fumbled my way; I learned and tested and tweaked.
Now I have a full-blown program that is working for myself and others. Proving that it’s never too late to lose weight! I still have 3 spots open for the program. Call me, don't wait until 2018! You can get a jump-start on your self-confidence!
I have a very special announcement!
Announcing the It's Never Too Late To Lose Weight Podcast!
To my own amazement, and with confidence, I hereby announce my latest venture, It’s Never Too Late to Lose Weight, a podcast for women approaching 60 who have been successful at everything but reaching their weight-loss goals. Using the latest in neuroscience, and obesity and health research, I will teach you about the properties of food and how they affect your appetite, your desire, your mood, and your brain.
Listen, learn, and take some steps toward changing your food and mindset around health and your confidence to make healthy decisions for yourself will follow. You can then model it for your daughters and they will get it. Click on the link to take a listen!